Saying No

I've been on this "say yes to everything and everyone" spree. While it makes for hilarious stories, I think it's starting to take me down. After analyzing my current "man related" funk with some good friends, I've decided that maybe putting myself around so many idiots, I've started thinking that I don't deserve better. So my new goal is to only put myself around men who validate me for being me. I need to realize that I am worth a good man. I have a lot to offer, and I do not need to settle for second best. So I am raising my standards. No more saying yes to every loser who asks if I want to hang out. As such, I'm revising my list. I used to think that I really shouldn't look for a man with all of those qualities, as that is kinda unrealistic. But I need to realize that I deserve a guy who provides me with what I need. I am committing to not settling. To knowing that I am so much better being single than wasting my time with a guy just for the validation of having a guy like me. So...here's my new standard for dating, understanding that I will revise it whenever I feel like.

1. He needs to ask me out at least a week in advance. I'm tired of the "do you wanna go out tomorrow night?" question. No I do not. I already have plans idiot.
2. He will have a definite plan. I saw a sign for the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" that said Hanging out IS NOT dating. So it's true. I will not be hanging out. I will be dating.

3. He will pay. I am all for women's rights and junk, but on the first few dates, he will pay.
4. Going along with number 3, he will come to my door, open the car door for me, open all other doors for me, and walk me to the door when the date is over.

5. He will not answer the phone or read a text. There could be some circumstances that would allow me to forgo this rule, but for the most part, the date is about us getting to know each other, not me realizing how popular he is.
6. After he's walked me to my door, he will not kiss me. I am going to quit kissing on the first date. I am worth a the wait.
7. He will tell me I look pretty. Because I do.
8. He will respond to my text telling him I had a good time when I text him the next day. Unless he is anti-text, in which case, there would be no second date for sho as we would obviously not be compatible.
9. He will call me within the three days after the date. And respond to my text telling him

Ok. I am sure there will be more, but not for now, because my Chinese food is here.

Dating. Blah.

So you all know I am writing a book about all of my horribly funny dating experiences. But what happens when I go on a good date? I didn't think they actually existed. I thought they were more an urban legend of some sort. But Shanti decided to set me up on a blind date with a guy she works with, making sure to forward the experience with "but I am not a matchmaker." He actually called me to set something up in advance (again, I thought a man actually calling was just a nice fairy tale too.) We met for dinner at six tonight. And...I have nothing to make fun of! I never thought I'd see the day! He was really nice and polite and cute and interesting. After dinner he asked if I wanted to go get a drink. Of course I agreed. I didn't prepare for this! I never thought I'd see the date where I actually wanted more! So we went to get a drink next door. And again, he paid (another weird thing for me). We sat drinking and talking. Then our wine was finished, but we sat there talking some more. It was weird, but nice. Then, out of nowhere, he said he should go. So he walked me to my car, hugged me (HUGGED ME!) and left. Now I don't know what to think. Is this proper first date behavior for normal men? I thought the fact that he wanted to keep talking meant me may like me, but then the sudden departure made me think otherwise and made me go into my pessimistic "he'll never call because I actually want him to" pity spiral. I'm trying to be positive, and realize, because he lives 3 hours away, there really was no future to start with, but it's just a weird situation. One in which I've never been. So help! Is this normal, nice guy, dating behavior or is he shafting me?

And also

I want long hair.

Dreams

So I had an interesting dream last night. I was at work,but even though it is the same school I work at now, the building was the one in which I went to middle school. I have dreams about middle school and high school FAR to often. It was graduation day, so I was sad. Then all these kids ran up to me and their parents started yelling at me because the kids failed their classes and couldn't graduate (this is not so much a dream as what actually happens). Then I said, "It doesn't matter, because I'm pregnant." Then all of a sudden I was like 8 months pregnant and at an ultrasound appointment where they told me it was a boy. Then I was suddenly at my mom's house, telling her I was having a boy, and she said, "Duh. I already knew that." Then the phone rang and woke me up.

I love dreams. I took a class on analyzing dreams once, so I'm obviously an expert. However, it is nearly impossible to analyze one's own dreams (or even the dreams of a close friend) as what you want the dream to mean always biases your analysis. Which is why I couldn't analyze Shanny's creepy Exorcism of Emily Rose dreams the other night.


Or

And now, I am going to go watch Monk.

10 years later

So I know I should be kicked off the blogger's network for my laziness in posting anything...at all. So here goes. I will try to be better. Now I will describe my New Year's resolutions. M-W.com defines resolution as "the act of analyzing a complex notion into simpler one." I am going to try to do this. Shanny and I were talking today about how we take easy things, and do them the most complicated, least logical way. That is a serious stupid thing to do. But we do. She had some fancy term for it, but I forgot. So here goes:
1. I am going to be the kind of person I want to be. Instead of wanting to be the kind of person who volunteers, and donates, and works out and stuff. So I am going to do that.
2. If I do numero uno, there is no need for a second resolution. See? Simple already!