Here is a list of lists I want to write:

1. This list
2. Things I want to be when I grow up
3. Things I want to do before I am dead
4.

I forgot I even did this

But I am going to try to do it again. Why not?

And now...an ode to summer!

Ok...so this is really an ode to Autumn, but I am writing my own to summer. Just not rightthisverysecond. Give me a few...

To Autumn by John Keats
1.
SEASON of mists and mellow fruitfulness,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eves run;
To bend with apples the moss'd cottage-trees,
And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;
To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells
With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,
And still more, later flowers for the bees,
Until they think warm days will never cease,
For Summer has o'er-brimm'd their clammy cells.

2.
Who hath not seen thee oft amid thy store?
Sometimes whoever seeks abroad may find
Thee sitting careless on a granary floor,
Thy hair soft-lifted by the winnowing wind;
Or on a half-reap'd furrow sound asleep,
Drows'd with the fume of poppies, while thy hook
Spares the next swath and all its twined flowers:
And sometimes like a gleaner thou dost keep
Steady thy laden head across a brook;
Or by a cyder-press, with patient look,
Thou watchest the last oozings hours by hours.

3.
Where are the songs of Spring? Ay, where are they?
Think not of them, thou hast thy music too,--
While barred clouds bloom the soft-dying day,
And touch the stubble plains with rosy hue;
Then in a wailful choir the small gnats mourn
Among the river sallows, borne aloft
Or sinking as the light wind lives or dies;
And full-grown lambs loud bleat from hilly bourn;
Hedge-crickets sing; and now with treble soft
The red-breast whistles from a garden-croft;
And gathering swallows twitter in the skies

Ode To Marzipan

I need to put almond extract on my grocery list. I wish I could buy almond extract in bulk. I put it in pretty much everything I bake, not like I bake very much. But when I do, it's almondy. If I could, I'd eat almond extract, well, marzipan, by the ton. Well, I could, but does anyone know where they sell that much marzipan? There was a bakery in Little Italy in Boston that sold the best marzipan I've ever tried. I so bet I could find a delicious marzipan recipe.

BBC Books!

According to BBC (which is what pretty much everything should be based on) these are the 100 most beloved books. Since I pretty much have nothing to do, let's see how many I've read.

1. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien I've seen the movie. Does that count? I was awake for almost half of it
2. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen I should cross this one out about fiddy times. It's one of my faves
3. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman This is a series right? I've read the first one
4. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams Seen the movie. I think.
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling Why is this one better than the other ones?
6. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
7. Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne
8. Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell
9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis,
10. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë I've tried to read this a bajillion times, but it's boring. Which is odd, because I love boring books like this.
11. Catch-22, Joseph Heller
12. Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë Favorite. Book. Ever.
13. Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
14. Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier
15. The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
16. The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
17. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
18. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott Again I was bored.
19. Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
20. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
21. Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell I almost got beat the other day for not reading/seeing this
22. Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone, JK Rowling
23. Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling
24. Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling
25. The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien
26. Tess Of The D'Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
27. Middlemarch, George Eliot
28. A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
29. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
30. Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
31. The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez
33. The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
34. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
35. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
36. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
37. A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
38. Persuasion, Jane Austen
39. Dune, Frank Herbert
40. Emma, Jane Austen My favorite J.A. book
41. Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery
42. Watership Down, Richard Adams
43. The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald Heart.
44. The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
45. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
46. Animal Farm, George Orwell
47. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
48. Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
49. Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
50. The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher Seriously?
51. The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
52. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck
53. The Stand, Stephen King I AM a member of the SK book of the month club. Well, WAS. I don't think I paid my dues.
54. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy It took me about a year to read this book. I HATED it while I was reading it, but afterwards, I decided I loved it. True story.
55. A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
56. The BFG, Roald Dahl
57. Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
58. Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
59. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
60. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky I read The Brother's Karamasov, and liked it. Ok, I kinda just wanted to show off that I read a long book and don't just sit around watching reality tv even though I do.
61. Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
62. Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden
63. A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
64. The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
65. Mort, Terry Pratchett
66. The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton
67. The Magus, John Fowles I didn't think anyone else knew this book! I loved it. But kinda hate all his other stuff. I think.
68. Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
69. Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
70. Lord Of The Flies, William Golding
71. Perfume, Patrick Süskind
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell
73. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett This book scaaaaaaared me.
74. Matilda, Roald Dahl
75. Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding
76. The Secret History, Donna Tartt
77. The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
78. Ulysses, James Joyce
79. Bleak House, Charles Dickens
80. Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
81. The Twits, Roald Dahl
82. I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
83. Holes, Louis Sachar
84. Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
85. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
86. Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
87. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley Another one of my faves.
88. Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
89. Magician, Raymond E Feist
90. On The Road, Jack Kerouac I loathe beatnik poets.
91. The Godfather, Mario Puzo
92. The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel
93. The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
94. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho He may be my favorite author. I've loved everything he's written.
95. Katherine, Anya Seton
96. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
97. Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez
98. Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
99. The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot
100. Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie

More fun

http://www.freerice.com/index.php

I am a copycat

http://www.43things.com/person/kymcs

Here goes....this year's slutty costumes!

Never has a drunk costume idea been so literal. But hey, at least it's top shelf tequila right?

We all knew Halloween was supposed to be scary, but slutty Sarah Palin? I think that has to be crossing some line.


Are you pregnant this Halloween? No longer are your costume choices limited to Britney or a pumpkin. Make the pope proud this year!

Or you could dress up like a slutty like kid. Pebbles was A CHILD right?

We've all heard the green M&M rumor. Who wants to see if this little number will have the same effect?

Count her spots. How old do you think she is?

Screw making the pope proud. Let's make God proud with this one.

Ummmm...pass the drugs?

Never ever. Ever.

A hot gardner. Who'd have thunk it. But I think the only gardner worth total hotness is Jess Metcalf.

Bad girl or good girl? Who needs to choose? Just make sure you have the boots too. Because we all know that all cops wear 'em. And if you really do get sent to jail...this is what you want to wear. To make sure you don't get....exclusive...with another prisoner.

God bless the queen. I pledge allegiance. Stand at honor.

Border patrol! Seriously! And this is supposed to DISCOURAGE illegal immigration?

I do not think that the wardrobe in Beauty and the Beast picked this one out.

And last but not least...no one likes it in the eye!

And also these

Don't play this in front of the kids...
http://womenbetrippin.com/sexy-for-Halloween/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4rUiV_Hh74

Slutty Halloween Costumes For Kids

As I research my annual rant, I find this...
http://www.newsweek.com/id/62474?GT1=10450

Godzilla Cricket

The other night I turned my light off to go to bed when I heard the loudest squeaking noise ever. It scared my dog so much he jumped off my bed and hid. I turned my light back on, and right next to my pretty pink lamp was a godzilla cricket.

I thought about killing it, but I too hate killing (and the crunch his huge body would make gave me shudders), so I too trapped him in a glass and slid a postcard underneath so I could release him back in to the wild. Now I am far too lazy to walk down the stairs of my apartment to reintegrate him into a bush, so I put the cup down outside my door so he could hop out and climb down the stairs himself with his giant cricket legs. The next morning when I was leaving, I walked out the door and tripped on his dead carcas. Apparantly he did not want to reintegrate. So much that he died instead. It was very sad.

Haha

I should not be allowed to blog in the middle of the night after I've taken my Ambien. You can thank this magical sleeping pill for my bizarre previous blog. So, in addition to apologizing for my ramblings, I would like to take this moment to share with you my thoughts on some books I've read during my summer vacation.

1. Become Your Own Match Maker- Patti Stanger-
This book took me like five seconds to read. It was mildly amusing. I heart the show, and the book was very much like the show. But I did walk away with some tips I may try.

2. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies-
All I have to say is please please do not read this book. It is probable the worst thing I have ever read. I had to read the real Pride and Prejudice afterwards to get this horrible book out of my mind

3. The Shoe Queen- Anna Davis-
This was a book I impulsively picked up at the library, mainly because it deals with shoes. It was however, a pretty good book. The characters were well developed. The plot was not that original or gripping (married woman has an affair and falls in love with another man), but I really did get to know the characters. I would recommend this one.
4. The Book of Jane- Anne Dayton-
Another impulse pick from the library. It turned out to be Christian chick lit. It was not the great American novel, but it kept me entertained and had a warm fuzzy message.

5. Brave New World- Aldous Huxley-
This is one of my favorite books ever. I love the thought provoking plot and ideas. Are we heading in this direction? Thoughts?

6. The Shack- William Young-
I read this book after a lot of convincing from my mom. I hated it. I hate kids dying. I understand the "message" of the book, but I could not get over the little girl dying.

Any suggestions for #7?

Also I want an iPhone.

Mini Men

It's very rare that most women need a man around the house. We can easily kill spiders, open jars, hookup the computer, move furniture, check the air in our tires, etc. Nut usually we let men take these feats as noble conquest won in the name of protecting their fair lady....or something.

So I've been thinking about what I need a man around the house for. I collaborated with Shanny, and we came up with the perfect idea. Mini fixing men. They are like wind up toys, except you don't have to wind them up. You order them from a catalog I have yet to create, and when they arrive, they go straight to work. Whence finished, they walk back to their box for proper storing until next time.

Until the catalog comes out, you will not know all of the specialties we have of little men helpers, but I will describe three of our products below:

1. HEALING MINI MAN- This fleet helps primarily in the shower or bath (not because they are pervs, but because he's a professional and know you are most relaxed in the shower. So it makes his job easier too). His mission in life, his ONLY mission, is to unhurt you wherever you hurt. See how small his mini healing hands are!!!!

2. MINI WARRIORS- Warriors hate most of our mini men and actively try to destroy them. No one has actually ever ordered a warrior fleet, they are just very sneaky and sneak in with other boxes. We have yet to learn how to defeat them, so if you have any suggestions, please please please let us know. There might be something shiny in it for you.

3. MINI MOTIVATION MAN- This team is set up into two groups. One group yells, and nags, andfollows you aruond...WHEREVER YOU GO...reminidng you about what you need to do. The other team talks to you until they can figure out why you are a procrastinator. Once they figure that you, you have found the motivation. However, just in case, our team will be wilth you until you finally get your lazy ass out of bed and do what you need to do. Then they will leave you alone.

g

More to come! Watch for our catalog MINI MEN to be out soon!

It's been a month

I know. In my defense, I was in the hospital and deathly sick. I am still waiting to recover :( More on that later though; I am sick of talking about it.

For now, I would just like to share my disappointment. I have been awaiting the release of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies,
by Seth Grahame-Smith, much to the embarrassment of Becky and my mom. I thought it would be a hilarious blend of two of my favorite things, Jane Austen and Stephen King. And I've always been a fan of Jane Austen fan fiction.

However, fan fiction, this book is not. In normal (read *acceptable*) fan fiction, it is usually just an extension of the story, or a view of the same story from another character's eyes. This book tries to change Pride and Prejudice, by making England overrun by the unmentionables. If this were the only change, I could be ok with the book, because it is kind of funny to think of Elizabeth as a zombie slayer. The unforgivable offense comes in where the author decides to change who the characters are fundamentally. Here are some examples that spring to mind:

• Lady Catherine is the best zombie killer ever, and Elizabeth looks up to her. Part of what makes Elizabeth who she is, is the fact that she does not fall to the typical views of the day and admire people of stature simply for being born into wealth. Now I'm only 1/4 of the way in, but I cannot see how the P&P storyline can remain the same if Elizabeth is another Collinsesque Lady Catherine cronie.
• Mr. Bennet is a jerk to his wife. In the original, he may have made some underhanded sharp tonged comments, but in this rendition, he is embarrassingly rude.
• Same with Mr. Darcy. Mr. Darcy tolerates Caroline Bingley. In this book, he is a jerk to her. This perhaps is the most unforgivable offense, because MR DARCY (though proud and misguided) IS NOT A JERK.
  

I will let you know the final verdict whence I am done reading, but as of now, I am sad because I thought it would be so funny! (And it is, I just can't concentrate on the funniness becasue I am crying at Darcy's typical manness)

I hate mustard.

At Least I'm Not Dying Shoes

So, when Melodie was helping me move all of my junk, she packed up my shoes to go in my awesome new shoe closet and suggested, after I bored her with stories about them, that I highlight their awesomeness on my blog.

At Least I'm Not Dying Shoes
I bought this pair after I went to the doctor and found out I needed surgery again. Each time, she tells me to prepare for more surgery than we'd planned which scares me. So after my appointment, of course I went shoe shopping to cheer myself up. I wear them all the time because they make me happy, but the only pic I have of me wearing them, is of me, doing some line dancing, at Row's wedding.


Also, here are some other shoes I want to buy:

Today I'm thankful for: Not dying in the blizzard, awesome friends and family that help me move, and cupid.com

Very Unimportant Updates

1. I am getting an iPhone in 4 days.
This will make everyone happy because I will finally stop complaining about it. But then I won't have to play with everyone else's (TWSS!)

2. The iPhone has a "That's What She Said" application.

3. I move in to my new apartment in 13 days. I am excited for the kitchen, the closet, and the laundry room. I am not excited to move. Or to clean my old apartment.

4. My school has made it to the state playoffs. Or something. I'm actually getting in to sports.
Weird
.


5. I bought this shower curtain at Bed Bath and Beyond.
Is it sad that a shower curtain makes me happy? There's a whole set, which I want to buy eventually, but right now I could only afford the curtain and rings.


Today I am thankful for: Craft day with Shanny, my mom, and The Cheesecake Factory

Aimee's Birthday Pictures

Today I am thankful for: My beautiful daughter, Charli's foot getting out of the cast, and laser pointers.